Occasionally men sexualise women everyday in objectifying us by reducing us to just our bodies and sexual organs. It’s come to my realisation that as women we are conditioned to yield to the ways of society and even enjoy being objectified by partners and love interests, as a result of the remnants of the patriarchy today.
If any man in general were to leer at me, the feminist in me would make me instantly repulsed; however, when I find myself treated and talked to as a sexual object by the man I’m interested in then suddenly my feminist brain goes out the window, through the door, and not to be seen faster than you could say ‘male gaze’.
Although dehumanising, being quite obviously regarded as a sexual object can innocently seem alluring when coming from a man one is involved with because we in fact know that they do not solely see us in this light but respect us as people and companions. In this way perhaps I’m not being a bad feminist for giving into objectifying language in certain scenarios – in fact, it is precisely because indulging in this behaviour is seen as ‘bad’ and demeaning that it instantaneously becomes alluring.
Some may suggest that our enjoyment of objectification is in part born from growing up in traditional families in such that some patriarchal values creep into our upbringings and form part of our resignation to it.
Terms like “violate me” and the idea of being gripped hard are similarly problematic on the surface, but when done by a man one is involved with this can be welcomed and even enjoyed perhaps because of the ‘taboo’, bad nature surrounding it. It just comes down to a matter of personal preferences.
In a way it’s liberating to almost reclaim the power back from the patriarchy and see ourselves as sexual goddesses embracing female sexuality, rather than letting it be used in a demeaning restricted fashion.