Sunday Brunch: I have Bad Role Models

I have bad role models, I always have. I had an aunt called Anab, her name is the somali word for grape, her nickname was Anab Dako because she shaved her head. 

When I was a toddler she let me smoke from a hookah and took me to see fortune tellers. She had all the accessories I wanted, cigarettes and a boyfriend. 

She was my first icon. People said she was a whore with a shaved head. Amber Rose is cute but my aunt did that first.

Nigella Lawson

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Also I love Nigella Lawson. She makes me want to wear opera gloves and complain about new money. I guess being down to earth makes you likable but it’s really not that much fun. 

I just love a rich old lady and a rich old lady with sex appeal is what I aspire to be.

People discourage me. They say she’s too much, her hair is fake and she’s a cokehead. But her drug problem tells a story. And I love stories. I say the most is the minimum, and let the woman have fun. She’s achieved so much in her life. For example she speaks Italian and she’s a milf.

Lindsay Lohan

I wonder what she’s doing with her life. I think it’s hilarious that she moved to Dubai. I remember a video of her dancing on a Yacht and I remember thinking I would be friends with Lindsay Lohan.

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There was that iconic moment when she was in court and she turns to her lawyer to say “I can’t do Thursday” knowing full well she might go to jail. But she had things to do.

Also I live for the fact she’s muslim now. When I think of Lindsay Lohan I can’t help but smile. 

Farah Pahlavi

Farah Pahlavi wore Dior Couture on her wedding to the last Shah of Iran.

She was an architecture student in Paris in the 50s or 60s. That’s the decade her look came from. She could have been a model for the great couturier Cristobal Balenciaga.

But she wasn’t, the first summer of university, she went home and became a Queen. Literally. This Iranian king fell in love with her and you can see why. She was this lithe little ingenue with a strange severe kind of beauty. High cheekbones and a withholding expression. Like Godard heroin.

I don’t know if trading an education for a life of glamour, intrigue and a place in the history books makes her a bad role model to be honest.

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