I light scented candles, play old playlists and look through my old diary entries. Long, petty entries about some basic flatmates and the regular bitches on my course.
Part 3: Growing Pains and Lipstick Stains
My biggest regret was wearing a nude lip.I thought it looked 60s, like an androgynous Kim Novak dipped in chocolate, but it was a little too understated. When in doubt wear a darker lip, or whatever your signature is. Don’t water yourself down to seem relatable.
I couldn’t reinvent myself no matter how hard I tried. It’s unlikely anyone really reinvents themselves at uni anyway. I spent most of freshers in my room. My social anxiety got the better of me and I didn’t really bond with my flat mates.
Everything she wore was a statement piece. Her name rhymed with chill and I really wanted to impress this girl. She’s the kind of girl that makes you wish chic rhymed with thick, for obvious reasons.
I lived in Whitefields with 12 people. Two bathrooms and terrible lighting.
The people on my course seemed non-judgemental (wrong) so I thought I could be as weird as I wanted. I was on a social high and practically twirled and beamed. I felt comfortable approaching other arts students. I sat in the first literature lecture, a little afro in a sea of green and blue hair. I like your backpack. Do you think you’ll do renaissance literature as you’re optional? Oh, It’s not optional for me.
She wore frilly socks and and a yellow coat, so I introduced myself to her. We accidentally held hands on the way to a philosophy lecture and decided to be friends from there on. We live together now. After this all my friendships began with me grinding on some random girl. And then you just become friends afterwards. Like they’ll say hi and humour you when you’re a mess. Some of them will even take you home when you’re drunk to the point of paralysis on their couch.
I slept with my bin between my arms, in case I throw up later. I did throw up 5 minutes later. I learned later on that pros just make themselves sick and get on with their night. Yeah, you stick your finger down your throat, make it classy, go up to the mirror like nothing happened and re apply your lipstick. You might meet your soul mate on the floor of the toilet at Smack. You might never see them again. But you’ll remember that her highlighter is from Laura Mercier, and she does law or something. She broke up with her boyfriend just before uni and tonight she got with 6 guys. You congratulate her (and mean it).
I chose this module about freedom because the other optional modules seemed more demanding or the lecturer was dry. A week before my exam I remarked that this module was chill because it didn’t have reading. I was corrected by my most extra friend, who typed up all her notes (which were elaborate, basically an encyclopedia on what I should have known). Her folders were heavy, she had large wide eyes and was immaculately dressed. I stopped by a seminar once at the start of the year. It may have been day three actually. It was nice we talked about philosophy, some obnoxious people said obnoxious things. I was in awe of how confident people my age could be. Public speaking can reduce the most charming people into someone all together different and pathetic.